Cleveland At Heart

Getting Married in Cleveland: Suggestions?

Whew. I've finally caught my breath! I wouldn't necessarily say the initial shock of getting engaged has worn off, because I'm not sure it ever will. However, I think I'm finally ready to make my re-entry from lala land into the real world. 

Wow, did this happen fast. Sometime in my preteen years I decided that marriage was an outdated social institution and that people who willfully entered into it were kidding themselves. All of the feminist reading I did in the ensuing decade or so helped to convince me that it's also kind of a bum deal for a girl. All of this, topped off by the miserable marriages I have seen family members (read: parents) go through, led me to believe I Am Not The Type Of Girl Who Gets Married. I loved living by myself after college, and thought for sure I'd just be happy as the crazy cat lady in old age. 

Admittedly, when I first met CJ seven and a half years ago, the thought flashed through my mind I think I could eventually marry this guy. It was almost like a brain seizure, but it was there nonetheless. And over the almost four years we've dated and almost three years we have lived together, I've learned that life with a partner can, if gone about in the right way, be a perfectly healthy and VERY rewarding experience. He's made me understand what people mean when they say someone is their rock. He gets me. And, although I hate to quote a movie here, he makes me want to be a better person. 

So here I am, planning a wedding. My original dreams of having about ten people present while we basically elope and then have a big party when we return have gotten scrapped due to reasons of practicality (my dad has health issues, and CJ's family is giant). It's looking like we're going to end up having a big ol' bash here in Cleveland, which actually makes me happy because we'll be keeping our cash in the local economy. In 45 minutes I will officially begin visiting possible venues... hee hee hee!

Plans in the worksL at the moment we're thinking October or March (October because it's beautiful; March because I have a week off of work, and lots of places give discounts because it's off season). Our budget is small, our tastes eclectic, and our guest list is probably going to be around 150. I'm pretty crafty, but have very limited spare time (thank you etsy! I will find some wedding stuff via you, I am sure). We will have a few dozen out-of-town guests, so the closer to a hotel the better (we;re even exploring the possibility of doing it AT a hotel). We want to do the ceremony and reception at the same place. That's what we have so far. 

Anyone who has recently planned or attended a wedding in Cleveland, PLEASE don't hesitate to offer input. I'm quite skeptical of information in wedding websites and magazines; as delightful as they are to peruse they're SO carnivorously trying to drum up business for their sponsors. So I need firsthand, candid advice. Venues? Florists? Caterers? Photographers? Places to buy dresses?  DJs? Ways to save money?  Please leave comments or email me directly to set up a coffee-and-info-sharing date. :) Thank you all in advance! 

Are you blinded by the light?

Oh, excuse me, I apologize. If you're having to shield your eyes from that glimmering brightness in the middle of a Northeastern Ohio winter, the source is right here at CLE@<3. More specifically, a little present CJ gave me on Saturday...

 
 
 
 
 
  Oh my. The boy did a good job. I'm still pretty speechless over the whole thing, but it's been humbling and elating to read/hear all of the congratulations and well-wishes from friends and family that have been rolling in as we spread the word. 

I'll tell more later, but for now you can head over to Chalk Dust in my Coffee for a humorous example of my (understandable) mindset. 

February has been fun.

...and hence I have only been posting sporadically. 

My favorite new thing to do as of last weekend is SNOWBOARDING. Why had I not tried it earlier? It's a heck of a lot of fun, and according to my more veteran snowboarding mentors I'm pretty good for a novice. Oh yeah, that's right... SKI LIFTS. That's why I hadn't tried snowboarding earlier. I am terrified of them. Dangling precariously from a little cable is just not my favorite thing in the world. Flying down the hill at high speeds is nothing, but the slow crawl twenty feet above the ground makes me squeeze my eyes shut and come damn close to praying. 

I had lots of fun with my friend AK on Thursday night after a post-work coffee meetup at Civilization turned into a what-the-heck-we-aren't-too-old-to-have-fun-on-a-weeknight beer and nachos outing at Prosperity (have you HAD their pita nachos??? Absolutely to DIE for). It  been so long since I went out to unwind with a girlfriend after work on a weeknight. Note to self: work that sort of thing back into my schedule more often. 

In other news, there are many fun things coming up in the near future. 

CJ and I are having dinner at Parallax tonight, which I am looking forward to more than I can explain (I have been craving a cucumber roll since I made the reservation a few weeks ago). Hooray for a romantic evening in honor of Valentine's day! I might even get him to hold my hand on the table or something mushy like that. 

I'm pretty sure my sister, who I almost never get together with, is coming out on Monday to have some girl time together. 

We're heading back to Snow Trails in Medina for more snowboarding next weekend. Why not Brandywine, you ask? Because some of the coolest people in the world live in Columbus, and Snow Trails is half way between -- perfect way to have an evening of fun with people we would otherwise have to drive six hours round-trip to see. And I think the hills are better. 

I will go to my first ever Lake Erie Monsters game on the 27th. We're going to some special Case Alumni night which involves free food and booze (and probably a pitch to donate gobs of money we don't have) and bringing along E&J, so it should be a very good time. 

Finally, as of today there is only ONE MONTH until the Burning River Roller Girls' first bout of the 2010 season! I am planning to drag some people out to make a night of it. 

Good times! 

I'll probably regret this post, but what the heck.

For starters, I have a therapist. 

But that's not the part I'm going to feel bad about posting. I mean come on, who of this generation DOESN'T have a therapist at some point or another? I started seeing her years ago when I was working through some stuff, and I still see her a few times a year just to get my bearings. It's priceless to run things by an objective third party sometimes. 

So here's what makes me feel like a terrible person. I went to see her today, for the first time since November. And my bump-suspicions from back then were confirmed: she's now visibly pregnant... and I'm MAD AT HER for it. 

Yes. I said it. The most selfish and anti-feminist thought that could possibly have popped into my head.

Now I can't talk to her about my own disgust with and terror of the idea of eventual motherhood, which is a topic I bring up often. I can't talk to her about my distress over a lack of close female friends, which is another perennial topic of discussion. Of course she wouldn't mind if I did, but I would feel awkward. Sure she held her clipboard in front of her beautiful little buddha belly for the whole hour, but its presence was still there and known. No matter how professional she is in her demeanor, it's now an elephant in the room. She's a mom. She's a woman. She's no longer the objective third party my insurance company is paying her to be.   

And seriously, do I really want to talk to her about ANY of my problems now that her innocent little fetus has sprouted ears? The simple fact that I had to start seeing a therapist in the first place is proof enough of the damage done to a kid when she became too aware of adult problems too young. 

I totally understand that it's her right to reproduce as she wishes. She's probably a good mom and the little thing will probably be cute and bring joy to the world and all that stuff when it's born.  I took women's studies classes in college (thought about it as a major, actually), and have read extensively on my own about what past generations of women went through to gain the same rights as men in the workplace (still workin' on wage equality, though). But honestly? If I'd have known when I established our client-clinician relationship that she was going to have more kids, I might have sought out someone else. Ouch.

Wow. There you have it. The worst thought I have ever "voiced". Sorry I had to tell all of you about it, but what can I say... I couldn't exactly save it for my quarterly therapist appointment like I usually do with things I deem "unfit to post". ;) 

I'm going to go stick my foot (typing fingers?) in my mouth now.