Cleveland At Heart

Well gee, it's my monthly blog post.

No time to write these days... me no update yous. I sorry.

Well, I suppose I should give people SOME updates, since lately my schedule's been so packed I've had very little time to spend with the many people I care about than they'd/I'd like.

Work's crazy (but good). I got approved for TENURE about two weeks ago, so I guess all of the craziness is paying off.

I've managed to read a few good books, with droopy eyelids, lying in bed trying to stay awake long after my reasonable bedtime. I'll review them when I have time (hah!).

Wedding-planning wise, my big thing at the moment is dress-stress. Did I buy the right one? There are SO MANY! And now there are new styles out. Did I jump the gun because I found one I liked and it happened to be on sale? I don't know. I should go try it on again and maybe I'll feel better.

And dresses for bridesmaids... I have a color in my mind, but I can't seem to find it. It's magenta, or fuchsia, or purple, or somewhere in between. I know I've seen it in photos but haven't had any luck finding actual dresses. I also like slate gray. And lime green. And hell, I haven't even settled on who I want in my bridal party yet... neither has CJ... we've even thought about nixing the idea of official attendants altogether (at least in the everyone-wears-the-same-thing-and-stands-with-you way).

I've been trying to keep all of my wedding planning on the DL as much as possible, because my fiance's sister is getting married in the first week of July and I don't want to steal any of her spotlight. I have, however, booked a photographer and picked out a DJ. I've also been scouring etsy for hair accessories and taking great advantage of Zappos's generous return policy in search of shoes.

That's all about the EVENT, though. I am so much more settled now about the idea of BEING married... I'm even starting to think we should just elope secretly. I mean, we've stated our intentions to be married to each other, so why wait almost another year? It seems a little ridiculous when you strip away the cultural conditioning we've all had regarding the way people "should" get married. We just want to be married. 'Nuff said, no?

Anyway, enough about that. My other piece of good news is that I'm going to England for four weeks this summer... maybe longer if volcano ash keeps me stuck there.

Back to doing work now...

Getting Married in Cleveland: Suggestions?

Whew. I've finally caught my breath! I wouldn't necessarily say the initial shock of getting engaged has worn off, because I'm not sure it ever will. However, I think I'm finally ready to make my re-entry from lala land into the real world. 

Wow, did this happen fast. Sometime in my preteen years I decided that marriage was an outdated social institution and that people who willfully entered into it were kidding themselves. All of the feminist reading I did in the ensuing decade or so helped to convince me that it's also kind of a bum deal for a girl. All of this, topped off by the miserable marriages I have seen family members (read: parents) go through, led me to believe I Am Not The Type Of Girl Who Gets Married. I loved living by myself after college, and thought for sure I'd just be happy as the crazy cat lady in old age. 

Admittedly, when I first met CJ seven and a half years ago, the thought flashed through my mind I think I could eventually marry this guy. It was almost like a brain seizure, but it was there nonetheless. And over the almost four years we've dated and almost three years we have lived together, I've learned that life with a partner can, if gone about in the right way, be a perfectly healthy and VERY rewarding experience. He's made me understand what people mean when they say someone is their rock. He gets me. And, although I hate to quote a movie here, he makes me want to be a better person. 

So here I am, planning a wedding. My original dreams of having about ten people present while we basically elope and then have a big party when we return have gotten scrapped due to reasons of practicality (my dad has health issues, and CJ's family is giant). It's looking like we're going to end up having a big ol' bash here in Cleveland, which actually makes me happy because we'll be keeping our cash in the local economy. In 45 minutes I will officially begin visiting possible venues... hee hee hee!

Plans in the worksL at the moment we're thinking October or March (October because it's beautiful; March because I have a week off of work, and lots of places give discounts because it's off season). Our budget is small, our tastes eclectic, and our guest list is probably going to be around 150. I'm pretty crafty, but have very limited spare time (thank you etsy! I will find some wedding stuff via you, I am sure). We will have a few dozen out-of-town guests, so the closer to a hotel the better (we;re even exploring the possibility of doing it AT a hotel). We want to do the ceremony and reception at the same place. That's what we have so far. 

Anyone who has recently planned or attended a wedding in Cleveland, PLEASE don't hesitate to offer input. I'm quite skeptical of information in wedding websites and magazines; as delightful as they are to peruse they're SO carnivorously trying to drum up business for their sponsors. So I need firsthand, candid advice. Venues? Florists? Caterers? Photographers? Places to buy dresses?  DJs? Ways to save money?  Please leave comments or email me directly to set up a coffee-and-info-sharing date. :) Thank you all in advance! 

Twentymanythings

Yesterday I spent a good hour or two browsing through profiles and blogs on 20-Something Bloggers (which, as you can see by my proudly-displayed badge, I am now an official member of). And it got me thinking: "twentysomething" is such a broad category. 

I am currently twenty-eight years, ten months, two weeks, and one day old. And as I sifted through people's digital representations of their lives yesterday, I suddenly felt like I was thirteen again: stuck between two periods of life. I am so far, SO far beyond the carefree college days of my early twenties. But I am nowhere near as into the settling down and having kids phase that so many people my age (and younger) are. 

There are so many different phases of our twenties that we go through in myriad orders and combinations. You could think of it in terms of music you liked, people you associated with, jobs you held, clothes you wore, goals you set... however you choose to categorize it, it's a decade of massive transformation. 

Here are some fast-forward snippets through mine: 

Early Twenties: College. Perfectionist to the Nth degree. Got straight A's. Worked out every single day, often twice. Despite intense feminist devotions and remnants of high school interest in riot grrl, struggled with eating disorders and dated mostly idiots. Still wore combat boots or Converse All-stars almost every day. Once wore electrical tape to a party. Avoided alcohol most of the time for fear of empty calories. Still dyed hair red, purple, black, etc. often. Still had tongue (and other things) pierced. Got so skinny and messed up that I got frighteningly near killing myself accidentally (this incident caused me to miss my own grandmother's funeral). Loved live music and went to several shows a month. Managed to screw up most of my close, meaningful friendships because I was so unhealthily obsessed with "perfection" that I pushed everyone away. Worked at a coffee shop and in a group home for mentally handicapped men. Read French language magazines. Believed myself to be creative and interesting. 

Mid Twenties: Got my sh*t together in time for student teaching, graduation, and beginning of career. Started blogging. Lived in Lakewood with roommate Heidi for a year after college, then went off on my own. Worked full time AND attended grad school full time. Appreciated sweatpants for the first time in my life. Thoroughly enjoyed living it up in my bachelorette pad. Dated a few idiots, and a few guys who weren't all that bad (but just weren't right... like Goldilocks tasting porridge, haha). Discovered my inner domestic goddess. Began working on rebuilding family relationships. Attended dozens of weddings. Got to be a "popular girl" at work and ran around with a very fun group of new friends (the kind of girls I would have spit on, given the chance, in high school). Ran my first 5k. Grew my hair long and got highlights. Shamefully went tanning a few times a week for about a year. Twenty-six was a big year: I left my good job for an amazing offer at an even better job, started dating CJ and decided we should get a place together. Finished graduate school and moved to Shaker Square. 

Late Twenties. Lived in awesome apartment with CJ. Got robbed. Clung to yoga and writing for survival. Felt like part of a new family; one that has taught me that family can be very different from what I am used to. Made peace with members of my own family. Tried many new things just to prove I wasn't old. Traveled to Istanbul to teach for two weeks. Considered alternatives to original career choice, but decided to stick with it. Started using wrinkle cream. Discovered that working out is now a necessity, not merely a precaution. Rediscovered reading for pleasure. Traveled to Bangkok. Purchased home. Window treatments. Non-IKEA furniture. Gardening tools. Started 403(b). Experienced occasional oh-god-I'm-a-sellout-grownup panic attacks. Still have one year, one month, and some change left to go... will of course keep you updated.